I invited readers to email me questions about anything and everything. Here’s a few of the most frequently asked questions with my answers. If you have others you’d like me to answer, send them my way!

Q: What exactly is your job?

A: I get it. People don’t understand what it is that I do. Sometimes even the people I live with have a hard time understanding the weird job I’ve created for myself. Basically, I’m a freelance writer, editor and project designer.

At this point, I work with different companies to provide content for websites, advertising, media kits, newsletters and blogs. I’ve found a niche (on accident, really) creating DIY projects using products from various companies and writing about them. For instance, for two years, I’ve worked as the resident blogger for Everything But the House, an online estate sale company, to create unique projects using items from their sales.

I try to have one regular-paying (freelance) job that I can count on and then supplement that income with additional freelance assignments. Some months I may take on two or three other jobs and others, I may not take any. Since the kids are home with me, I work around what’s going on in their lives. My goal for 2016 is to cut back everywhere and work mostly on Our Storied Home and some book projects.

 

Q: Why did you quit writing?

A: This question gets me in the ribs because I never thought I quit writing. Yes, I did have a column for many years and in the year Ada was born, I published two books, so I guess I can see how it has seemed like I’ve been super-quiet for four years. When I started staying home with Ada when she was 3-months-old, I learned quickly that writing for businesses paid better (and more reliably) than editorial work. When you’re writing for a magazine, you may get paid as little as 10 cents per word and get your check a month after publication. That means if I write an article and submit it today for a January issue, I’d get paid anywhere from $100-$500 in February. You also have to account for human error, meaning freelancers are often forgotten about (out-of-sight, out-of-mind) so I spend a lot of time lingering at my mailbox, looking for paychecks and making “Hey! Have you mailed my check yet?” phone calls.

Q: Who shoots your photos?

A: My friend, Stacey  Reid, of Cincinnati has shot many of those photos you see. The one of me on the stairs (above) and a lot of the photos of the kids. She’s amazing. We’ve been friends since first grade and she’s taught me a lot of photography and photo editing.

Q: If you had to sum up your personality in one photo, what would it be?

A: I think this one is fairly accurate. I’m a little bit of a rascal. Eli makes this exact face, too.

Q: Do you have childcare?

A: Nope. Honestly, I am at a really awkward place in my freelancing career with kids. I am turning work down because I can’t do it all with two small kids underfoot. From time to time, I look for options for childcare but during my lean times as a freelancer, I would barely break even after paying a sitter or daycare to keep both kids. I plan on working as much as possible this year then sending Eli to preschool next year. Ada will be in kindergarten so I will have at least two or three mornings without kids at home.

Q: How do you make it all work?

A: I work whenever I can. The other day, I installed vinyl flooring in the laundry room while the kids ate lunch. Sometimes I paint while I’m nursing. If I wake up and can’t go back to sleep at 3 AM, I get up and work. I stay up late. I wake up early. I work during naps if I can. I do my best to squeeze work in on the weekends when I have extra help with the kids. Travis and my mom do whatever they can to support me. I think people wrongly assume I have a built-in babysitter with my mom living here. That isn’t the case. My mom is sick and cannot keep up with Eli. She does what she can though, which I’m grateful for.

If it looks like I’m balancing everything, I’m not. It’s a struggle. Some days, the house is clean, the laundry is done, the kids are satisfied but I have ten angry emails from people wanting copy. I’m sometimes on conference calls while Curious George plays in the background. Then some days I have made huge strides with work; the blog is featured by Home Goods, I have work coming in like crazy and a post got 100 likes on Facebook but the house is wreck and Ada is running around wearing only a cape, My Little Pony undies and fringe boots. Honestly, someone is always mad at me. I have family who feels like they don’t get enough attention, unanswered text messages, PR people wondering why I haven’t responded to email in three days and friends who think I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. This has been hard for me but I’ve come to realize that my husband and kids get first dibs on my time and then my work. But as a writer, if you don’t make your work a priority, no one will. People struggle to think outside of 9-5 jobs so they won’t believe you actually work but as long as my job is paying for our groceries, I’ll continue to make it happen.

 

Q: Why don’t you quit until the kids are older?

A: I consider this often. Part of the reason is the money. I’ve always made sure I made enough to contribute at least the grocery money. The other reason I don’t quit though is that the work is my thing. I love being a mom but being an introvert by nature, motherhood sometimes feels daunting to me. My work is my escape. It is one of the only things I do for myself. I also think it’s important that Ada (especially) sees that she can make her own options. I feel like she’ll have a healthy outlook on “having it all” because she sees the work that goes on behind-the-scenes. There is a misconception that “having it all” is glamorous; like I’m walking around with these doting children and Starbucks in my hand and there’s a boss who adores me for my intellect. NOPE. The reality is I prove daily to my “bosses” that motherhood didn’t turn my brain to mush and that they can’t treat me like a bargain. When I go three days without a shower because I’ve literally been too busy meeting the needs of my kids, I don’t feel like I have it all. I feel like I’m doing the best I can to grow as an individual while raising strong people. So, I guess the reason I don’t quit working is that some part of me, Amanda, is trying to persevere and survive through the hardest parts of mothering. Otherwise, I think I’d give all of myself away because that is my nature. I’m a giver to a fault.

Q: Do you like being home all day? I worry my kids would drive me crazy if I were home with them all day.

Honestly, they do drive me crazy but working, even in small amounts, is healthy for all of us. I wasn’t someone who dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom and for a long time, I felt like something was wrong with me when I sat in the sandbox with moms who loved being home and I secretly felt unfulfilled and quite frankly, bored. I think what you need to know about me is that I’m a rather divided person; one part of me thinks just like a magazine editor or producer but the other part of me is way too free-spirited for a board room. I’m split right down the middle. That’s why blogging works for me. I can have a “magazine” on my terms.

I should also add that we go through seasons when things are really great and working out and then suddenly, something isn’t working so I have to figure out a new plan. Luckily, I’m a very flexible person and I’m able to go with the flow. I’m in the middle of a particularly rough season of balancing work with Eli, who is 15-months, into everything and won’t nap unless he is in the car. During these phases, I cut back and focus on the kids. I might go a week without blogging (which I hate to do) but it’s reality for me right now.

Q: Are you still working on a novel?

A: Yes, I am but I feel like I should mention that writing isn’t just sitting in front of a computer with hands on the keyboard. In fact, I feel like the physical act of writing is a very small part of the process. I do my best “writing” while washing dishes. That’s how DIY work became so important to me. The labor of my remodeling projects allows me to work with my hands while my mind wanders and untangles plot lines.

Q: Where did you get the black onyx ring you wear?

A: I inherited it from my Grandma Charlene (my mom’s mom.) You can see her wearing it in this photo of her and my mom taken in the 1970s.

Q: If you quit remodeling and doing so many DIY projects, wouldn’t you have more time to finish writing your novel?

A: Yes, I guess I would. But as I said before, the labor allows me to lose myself in my thoughts which is an important part of my writing process. I don’t get a lot of time to explore my thoughts (kids are loud) so spending time grouting a kitchen floor lets me do that. I am always multi-tasking. Plus, I love working with my hands. I find remodeling and DIY projects empowering. It’s about problem-solving, which if you think about it, is a lot like writing.

Q: How do you fund your remodeling and DIY projects? It seems like you’re always working on something new.

A: There’s a few ways I fund the projects. First, you have to remember that I do this for a living rather than a hobby. When I resurface my fireplace surround, I did it as a job and I will always be transparent about whether I’ve worked with a company to complete a project. My house is basically a big lab. We test out new products, create tutorials and share our honest opinions with you. If I don’t love the product, you won’t hear about it unless it is a negative review. Yes, the upside is that my house is getting remodeled in exchange for my time but the downside (and this is huge) is that we are always in the middle of a project. Right now we have a gutted guest bathroom and flooring sitting on the kitchen counter. I also have a big, black box painted on Ada’s bedroom wall where I’ve been testing out paint samples because our next project is creating a shared room for the kids. Our house would drive some people totally bonkers.

Not everything comes from jobs like that though. I reinvest a lot of what I make back into my business to make my “editorial budget.” When I really want something, say a light fixture, I will sell whatever I can or take a job to get it.

Q: How does DIY blogging impact your marriage?

A: We have learned to work well together. I think he is getting to a point where he trusts my vision for projects and I trust (and depend) on his practicality to reign me in from time to time. I think going to the Haven Conference together was great because it put us face-to-face with other people in this weird industry of DIY blogging. When your whole job is online, it can begin to feel like you live in a virtual reality and you start to wonder if it is worth all of the real ways the work impacts your life. I think opportunities to connect with other blogging families makes it all real.

Q: What is it like living with your mom?

A: Easier than I thought and I think she’d say the same. She has a full apartment with a kitchen and bathroom so there is a nice separation of space. There are a few misconceptions people tend to have: One, I didn’t force this on my husband. People have this response of Poor Travis. Travis is the one who suggested that she move in with us. They get along well so the typical “mother-in-law” scenario isn’t played out. Two, as I mentioned before, Mom isn’t a built-in babysitter. She has end-stage kidney disease. She does help me where she can though. She is folding laundry as I write this.

I think the thing that is the biggest adjustment, at least for me, is that a grandmother lives with us. Mom doesn’t want to miss out on the perks of being a grandparent but she is part of the kids’ day-to-day lives now so she has to scale back on spoiling her grandbabies otherwise I am constantly the bad-guy. We’re all trying to figure out that new dynamic.

Q: How do you chase kids and manage social media?

A: I try to spend as little time as possible on social media during the day. I schedule most posts the night before and pop-in while the kids are busy playing or eating to comment or respond to questions. It’s a struggle to balance this part of my job but I do my best to make it all work.

Q: Be honest. Do you like your butcher block countertops?

A: I like the look of them but I’m not crazy about the functionality, especially with a young family. We had a leak from our upstairs bathroom that came down into the kitchen. One of the counters expanded and shifted as a result. It’s subtle but drives me nuts. I think if you get the ones from Ikea, they are an affordable upgrade but I’m not sure that I would invest a lot of money in high-end butcher block. If it were in my budget, I’d prefer white quartz.

Q: How do you do your hair?

A: I use a Sarah Potempa Beachwaver. It’s magical.

Q: Can you tell us three weird-but-true facts about yourself?

A: Ah, weird is my middle name. Well, actually my middle name is Darnell but I am totally weird. How’s this?

• I used to be a swim suit model. Stop laughing. It’s true. See? I was a Keds-wearing bathing suit model. Bonus fun fact: I looked just like Anne Frank as a kid.
  
• For as long as I can remember, I’ve had “memories” that I cannot explain as they didn’t happen in my lifetime. The most vivid (and I’ve had this “memory” since I was a little kid) is me painting the spindles on an old staircase. The front door is open, it’s summertime and there is a radio on the front porch playing Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” I am wearing cut off jean shorts and a denim shirt. I remember this like it happened but, as far as I know, it didn’t.
• I have a weird habit of bumping into celebrities in weird places. I ran into Steve Zahn in the produce section at Kroger’s a few weeks ago and chatted with him about his role on Modern Family and the price of zucchini. One time I ran into Jerry O’Connell in an elevator. It was just me, Jerry and his agent. Here’s our exchange:

Jerry: “So, are you voting for Hillary or Obama?”

Me: “What?”

Jerry: “Oh, this is the Derby. Not the election. Sorry, I got confused.”

Me: “Stand By Me!”

Jerry: “I am standing by you…”

Me: “No, the movie. Stand By Me!”

Jerry: “Yep, I was in that…”

Me: “I still worry you’ll be hit by that train…”

Jerry: “Yeah…me too…”

DING. Elevator ride over. End scene.

Q: What’s something you’re struggling with right now?

A: This has been a very hard year for us. I think having Eli’s natural birth and my grandma’s natural death (she died with my hand on her chest) happen within six months of each other was life-changing for me. This isn’t even considering the fears/stress I have over my mom’s health and the huge renovation we went through this summer. Oh, and kids. Life has been very full and I’ve had a hard time coping at times. I think the hardest thing I’ve struggled with as of late was whether or not I needed professional help managing my anxiety. After a particularly bad anxiety attack, I talked to my midwife and I’ve started taking Zoloft. This is huge for me. I barely take Tylenol for a headache. How’s it working? I was always afraid it would make me less myself. I have found the opposite to be true. I am more me now. I wish I would have asked for help a year ago.

Thanks for letting me get real, friends. If you have more questions, send them my way!